Thursday, April 18, 2013

I Dwell in Possibility

-So Jenny, now that you are graduating college in two months, what are you going to do after that?
- Good Question. I don't really know. There are so many possibilities...

I suppose you could call this my most recent mantra. I can't claim credit for it though because it comes from this poem by Emily Dickinson

I dwell in Possibility-- 
A fairer House than Prose-- 
More numerous of Windows-- 
Superior--for Doors--

Of Chambers as the Cedars-- 
Impregnable of Eye-- 
And for an Everlasting Roof 
The Gambrels of the Sky--

Of Visitors--the fairest-- 
For Occupation--This-- 
The spreading wide my narrow Hands 
To gather Paradise--

If you were hoping I was going to enlighten you on what this poem means, I am sorry. I really have no clue despite my love of analyzing poems. Your guess is about as good as mine. However, I can tell you what it means for me. 

I really love the last three lines of the poem. Mostly because people keep asking me what job I want to do when I finally decide to grow up. "For My occupation--this!" This, the spreading wide of my narrow hands to gather paradise. This, the experiencing everything life has to offer. This, the discovery of my marrow of life...this, will be my occupation. If only right? Sadly, money and your place in society will always act as a sure reality check for us idealists. And yet...

I dwell in Possibility.
I dwell in the possibility that these next two months might be my last as a student
I dwell in the possibility of graduate school 
I dwell in the possibility of a real career with real responsibility
I dwell in the possibility of still being young 
I dwell in taking time to explore and discover
I dwell in the possibility of travel
I dwell in the possibility of new and scary
I dwell in the possibility of old and comfortable 
I dwell in the possibility that lightning could strike
I dwell in the possibility of being happy even if i'm just blown by the wind
I dwell in the possibility of endless possibilities. 

I realize that my unknown future might connote that I am unplanned and unprepared. This is not who I am, and I don't want to reflect that. You should see my planner -I plan out my days, my weeks, my months, but I never planned for this. I never prepared to be graduating from college, single, and with no carefully crafted plan made for my new life. And so I suppose I am unplanned, but I don't feel completely unprepared. I simply dwell in Possibility.