Sometimes I write letters that I never actually send.
I find it therapeutic and helpful in expressing and understanding my feelings.
Sometimes I write letters to myself.
Here's one I found today... dated April 18th 2013
Good job finishing another semester! Sure, that research paper probably needed one more look over, but maybe the score will pleasantly surprise you. You've got your first final tomorrow and I hope you do a fantastic job. But whatever scores you get, you've learned a whole lot more than that number represents.This was a crazy semester and I'm proud of you for making it. You did a lot of hard things, but both of us know you did not do them alone. I'm sorry to say that more hard things are bound to come. You've got a lot of big decisions still ahead of you, but don't be afraid. You can make the right decision. You know how...Trust in that!
It's ok to be scared and it's ok to feel lonely sometimes, but know that ultimately you are so very taken care of and surrounded by love. Love can still be magical and beautiful even if you are not dating anyone. And, speaking of that, remember that you are very young and still have lots of experiences coming ahead. Better things are on their way. Be an optimist and happiness will find you!
I know you feel unsure about the future, but relish in the possibility of possibility. The world is your oyster...go get your pearl! Don't let anyone put you down or make you feel like you've sold out. You are an amazing woman. You are talented and so smart. You are capable of doing anything (well, maybe not computer programming---But, I bet you could learn!)
Did you know that you are so lucky? How many people have had the education that you have? How many people have had the opportunity to travel like you have? How many people have enjoyed a family-love like the one your family has? You are going to do great and inspiring things. AIM BIG!!!! Don't forget your purpose and the way God sees you. Reread your patriarchal blessing if you need a reminder.
You are beautiful. Even though you feel chubby and out of shape right now, you are beautiful. You'll wish you still had this body years from now. Someone will recognize your body for its beauty someday and he is worth waiting for! There will be more than one boy who will ever love you, and you are capable of falling in love again too. It will be beautiful and sparkling again. Just be patient and don't let yourself go while you wait.
So here's to us - you and me. Good luck with finals! Just do your best and move forward. Get good sleep, eat a good breakfast, and breathe. You are almost there...did I mention that you get to sleep in your "big girl" bed for a straight five days next week? Heaven!!!! Now go get 'em done!
I love you. I know your great potential and the depth of your heart. Let's stay best friends ok? Thanks.